Have you ever..

Have you ever felt so down, you couldn't find a way up?

Have you ever felt so scared, you don't want to try again?

Have you ever cried so much, your tears stopped coming?

Have you ever hurt so bad, you felt you deserved it?

Have you ever wanted to hurt more, because you deserved it?

Have you ever missed something so much, it haunted you every day?

Have you ever been so alone, you wanted to believe in God?

Have you ever wanted to tell them so bad, but you couldn't?

Have you ever been so embarrassed to cry, you silenced your tears?

Have you ever wanted to just go away?

I have. I am now.

Have you ever been truly happy?

I have. A long, long time ago. When they still cared. When we all loved.

What she doesn't realize..

I'd rather hide from the pain than face it head-on.

It hurts to be forced to be alone. I'd rather do it on my own terms.

I'd rather be able to free myself.

It's better than seeing them all happy and wishing.

It already hurts enough just knowing.

I know it'll hurt more with it real.

I wish it would all change.

I know it won't; it's them over me.

My blog hates me.

Yes, but it seems that sometimes, I hate me too.

Seriously. What a dumb thing to say.

What a dumb thing to think.

That he would want to do anything with me?

Hahaha. See? It's laughable.

But even so..

I know..

Tomorrow he'll still be my wish.

While I'm sitting alone.