Wednesday, April 30

I Miss Them.

I hate to admit it, but I miss them.

I miss us.

We were always a team. We did everything together.

Now I'm excluded.

They were supposed to be our high school memories together.

But now I'm out.

Forever was surprisingly short.

And it'll never be the same again.

Do they even remember?

I'll always love them.

And I'll always miss us.

Sunday, April 27


He said no. Typical.
I'd really like to pretend that I don't care, but I do.
I hate this.

I don't get why I'm not good enough.
But I do.
It's because I'm different.
I'm not blonde, I'm not white, I'm not skinny, I'm not pretty.
I'm the only person at my school who looks like me.
We have no middle ground.
You're black. Or you're white. Or you're asian. Someone likes you if you're one of those. It's bound to happen.
And then you're me. The one who never gets looked at as more than a friend. The one who cares so much but is never cared about.

I stay silent, pining for those guys. Those guys who I think I have a chance with. But I never do. And I never will.

I've never had a date. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never had a first kiss.

I want to get out of this fucked-up place.
I want to find people like me.
I want to find people who like me.
I want out.

But I never get what I want.

[brokenhearts] Flo


:D I just got extremely happy.
Want to know why?
He texted me back. Yes, him. The boy that I've been pining for for months.
His phone was off all weekend. That's why he never answered.
I'm going to ask him to prom. It's in less than three weeks.
I'm so excited.
This is how it is to be a girly teenager. Now let's just wait for the let down.

[excitedhearts] Flo

Bonjour. <3

I don't really feel anything right now.
My shoulder hurts, that's about it.
I suppose I'm numb. Numb to everything.
I'm so fed up with the shit that is high school [gross, right?] that I'm just worn out.
So, bonjour. Welcome to my little world.
It's quite a doozy.

[hearts] Flo