Wednesday, May 28


Right now, my life is basically bullshit.

I hate school.

I hate lunch the most.

I wait for them, to see if maybe I can come.

And then they leave.

Without me.

And I come here and sit, alone, as always, pretending to work on something I'm not.

Friday, May 23


"I was already in too deep. [...] Because when I thought of him, of his voice, his hypnotic eyes, the magnetic force of his personality, I wanted nothing more than to be with him right now."

Guess who refuses to get off my mind?
I don't know what's wrong with me.

He's just another stupid boy.
But he doesn't act like them.
I don't get like this with normal boys.
I'm fine flirting with normal boys.

He's not acting like a normal boy.

And that scares the shit outta me.

What's more scary?
I'm attached. A lot.


Let's look at the stats.
#1 - said no to go with me to prom. DENIED.
#2 - is confusing. not like any other guy I've ever met. surprises me often. makes me laugh. nerdy, cute, adorable, amazing. I dunno if he actually asked me out, but he's said something like that twice. in two days. I said I hate bikes and outdoors, then didn't answer. I seem to make him nervous. I'm smiling like a friggin' gremlin. I have it BAD.
#3 - fun to flirt with. end of story.

Shit monkies. I'm not used to this.

I want my own Edward. Whatwhat? FROM TWILIGHT, GOSH.

In other news..
There is no other news.

Wait, I miss my friends. My best friends. I hope we're still good. I need you more than ever.

Oh fuck, I have it really fucking bad.
[inlikehearts] Flo

Friday, May 16

Lovin' It.

I am not at prom.
And currently, I am lovin' it.
Strange, right?

Things I am also currently lovin':
1. The thought of college.
2. The thought of college in MALIBU.
3. The thought of the sun at college, in Malibu.
4. The thought of start fresh, and being able to be my own person. Without middle-school stereotypes. [Seriously, Poolesville. People change. Get over it.]
4. The thought that he might be there... A new 'he', and old 'he', doesn't matter. As long as he's a he, and he's right for me. =D [I'm so happy I rhymed.]
5. The thought that I might FINALLY be able to learn to count properly.

I can't wait.
Only one more year until I escape.
And I am lovin' the though of a whole new life.

Monday, May 12

Trust me.

I want to do this for you.
I want you to succeed.
Trust me.
I love you.

I'm not trying to badger you.

In other news..

There's a new one.
I really suck at this.

Friday, May 9



I hate college.

I will not get in [to Cornell, Hamilton, Bard, Pepperdine, or Brandeis.]


I refuse to go.

But I will.
And I won't be good enough.

Thursday, May 8


I have no emotions right now; I feel blank.
It feels empty.

I'm just here.

Calm after the storm?

Tuesday, May 6


He is not dead.
He was always alive.

He missed me too.
He never had the chance.

He almost broke me.
He is working on it as well.

He cares about my existence.
He is just beginning.

He lives far away.
He is right here.

He was always there for me, even if it was his fault.
He was the reason I cried.

Not this shit again.

Thursday, May 1

I hate it.

I hate crying over this.
It's just supposed to be a stupid dance.
But every stupid dance, I went with them.
And now we're not.
Now I'm not.

I want them back. I want us back.
Not that you're reading, but...
I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt you.

At least I didn't lose it all..