He said no. Typical.
I'd really like to pretend that I don't care, but I do.
I hate this.
I don't get why I'm not good enough.
But I do.
It's because I'm different.
I'm not blonde, I'm not white, I'm not skinny, I'm not pretty.
I'm the only person at my school who looks like me.
We have no middle ground.
You're black. Or you're white. Or you're asian. Someone likes you if you're one of those. It's bound to happen.
And then you're me. The one who never gets looked at as more than a friend. The one who cares so much but is never cared about.
I stay silent, pining for those guys. Those guys who I think I have a chance with. But I never do. And I never will.
I've never had a date. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never had a first kiss.
I want to get out of this fucked-up place.
I want to find people like me.
I want to find people who like me.
I want out.
But I never get what I want.